Okay, so you tagged me.
at least I believe its you.

now what?
you feel stupid?
gosh, STUPID?
so now who's more stupid?
I can't believe I just read what you tagged.
thanks for pushing the blame to ME.

all along I'm just your play toy.
who are you to use the word STUPID?

yes, you shld have known where you stood LONG AGO.
you stand no where in my life now.

and I was NEVER bothered by your problems.
I told you that I'll be always here to share the pain and I DID stand by you.
but what did I get in return?
not appreciation.
but just ignorance of my msgs.
so that's what I deserve for putting in so much effort huh?

maybe I expect too much from you.
so a reply was too much to ask for.
okay now I know.
I've learnt my lessons the hard way.
and I ain't going to repeat my mistakes ANYMORE.

you're a nightmare.
your face is haunting my every single night.
its hard trying to get to sleep without you appearing.
life is so distorted all thanks to you.

and thanks for the times you made things seemed as thou there's hope.
thanks for making my mood swing high and low.
thanks for holding me high up then watching me fall.
guess it was a fun thing to do.

I don't think I'll EVER understand what's on your mind.
and I don't want to anyway.

argh.

you're like, in totally no position to put any blame on me.
and do not use "I know where I stand" on me.
simply cos that's MY line.
dammit.

yes, play me.
play with my love.
fuck.

why am I typing so much?
it might not be you anyway.
ha.
HAHA.

Ain't loving you anymore ))):

papayo is like so sweet.
she brought one whole watermelon down sch for me today.
awwh, touched. :D

gonna go for training tour to malacca during March.
can't wait, bet it's going to be a hell lotta fun.

maybe you'd call it late,
but today i saw her real colours.
how gorgeous she could be,
and how grotesque she truly is inside.
it turns me off, major.
i can't stop rolling my eyes when i think of her.
ahhhh F___ YOU.

and all along i thought you were beautiful inside.

not exactly appropriate to talk about love now.
not a suitable time to ask for another chance.
but i love you, i want to be beside you,
no matter during the ups or the downs.

maybe i ain't that special anymore.
cos i can no longer calm your mind and sooth your nerves like how i did.
but what has never changed is this heart that has been calling out to you all along.

i've never stopped loving you.
and i never will.

i will pray for you tonight my love,
be strong.

iloveyou.

you're the best part of this fairy tale.

you called me, sounding really upset.
from the moment you spoke, i could sense that sth was wrong.
you refused to say anything, insisted that you will be alright and reassured me that you will be fine.
you asked me not to be worried,
but girl, how can i ever rest my mind when i know you aint alright at all?
i didnt probe further.
but i'll be here to share the pain.

sometimes it feels downright stupid to be this devoted.
i ain't lying at all, i really feel stupid now.
i refuse to entertain those disturbing thoughts;
whether am i a spare or is she coming back afterall.

sometimes i'm determined to leave,
but memories of you always managed to hold me behind.
i can't stop picturing what we could have been,
and how happy we would be.
but it's painful,
cos i know it aint coming true.

at the end of the day,
i'm the biggest loser.
cos i'm taking all the pain.

i'm having mixed feelings everytime you turn to me.
i know you wldnt lest you are left with no other choices.
do you turn to me becos of some special reason?
or isit just becos i'm always so available?

i wont turn you away,
and you know i will never.

i wanna wipe the tears off your cheeks and tell you everything's gonna be alright.
and if the tears wont stop, i hope being in my arms would help.


Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?

And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will

cos i promised you.

when er'thing isn't alright,
i just wanna be the one to you'll run to.

been kinda busy lately
too busy to even blog.
days were all packed with trainings and projects.
so full that i have no time left to think about other stuff.
but there are nights when just before i shut my eyes,
i'll think about you.

right,
back to trainings.
lost to PJ by 6 and won SRJC by 15.
achievement?
maybe.
but you wont be here to say "do me proud baby" anymore.
so winning and losing becomes less significant.
-shrugs

michelle said it's not ethical to dump girls
blahh.
rubbish.

i'm constantly reminding myself how good your life has been since i've left.
guess that will keep me from wanting to go back.

i'll be strong na.
cos you said i am.

i love my chickens.
catch up soon.

what's new?

i will bring you home.

ariana loves me.

yeah baby, i love you too (((:

I need an output for my feelings.
had too much to read at one go.

Yeah, I went to your blog after much consideration and contemplation.
My friends were beside and I thought that would at least make me that lil big braver in face of your words.
Maybe I over estimated that strength.
Cos it feels like hell within me now.

I never thought I would still feel this way.
I always thought that I have already placed us behind.
And no, I don't want you back.
I just want to move on and leave you behind.

There's nothing that I haven't done to get rid of this pain.
Right or wrong, name it.
I've done it all.
But all my efforts seemed futile when once again I'm facing you.
Why, why?

Time doesn't really heal does it?
If it does,
then why am I still in this?

I don't wanna rot and die.
I don't wanna bury my sorrows in fags and alcohol.
I don't wanna be like those pple around me.
They lost to the pain and crumbled down.
But I don't wanna be.

I wish I could face you.
I wish I could face your words.

I've said a million prayers.
But no, no one answered them.

Future seems far.
Cos I can no longer see where I'm walking toward.
Like what I've said,
nothing's been right since the day you left.
And till now,
it's still the same.

I wish someone could be on par with you.
Would be better if she could take your place.
Then she could erase your image from my mind,
and take me away from you.

Haven't I done enough?
Haven't I cried enough?

Michelle : Just follow your heart k? Don't think so much lar..
me : If I had followed my heart, I would have broken down long ago.
Michelle : (speechless)

Yes I won't deny.
There have been times I succumbed to temptation.
There have been times I caved in and ruined all that determination.
But Rome isn't built in a day WHAT.

I hope I will read sth more cheerful the next time I give in again.
So that this sacrifice, this pain, this self-cruelty will be worthy.

I chose this path cos I know how much you love her.
I chose this path cos I know how much she means to you.
I chose this path cos I want you to be happy.
I chose this path cos I love you.

Ain't that simple afterall.

don't know what to do or what to say.

maybe it's best for us to lead our lives this way.

but i'll always be here.
iloveyou.

my vision seems to be blurred.
can't see properly.
sighs,
I'm dying.

just take a look at me now.

lost the mood for blogging the moment i signed in blogger.
i've alot within me,
just don't know how to put them into words.

i'd rather keep mum then to let you know.

caught fockers today.
was okay.
(((:

gahs.

yawns.
i hate school.

where are you tonight? ))):

not much,
just want ya to know,
that i'll be here always.

can you hear me baby?

do you remember where we first kissed?

even till today,
your scent still lingers in my mind.

my nerves will be really tensed whenever i pick up that scent.


but,



why?

Ran into an old friend yesterday
Caught me by surprise when she called my name
She was a familiar face, from a chapter in my past
Talked for a while, I smiled and then
Said that she was seeing somebody and
Told me this was gonna last
Showing me her photograph

And all the feelings I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

(Truth is) I never got over you
(Truth is) Wish I was standing in her shoes
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still in love with you
(Truth is) I never should have let you go
(Truth is) And it's killing me cuz now I know
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still in love with you

We reminisce on the way things used to be
Shared a couple laughs, shared some memories
Talked about the things that changed
Some for good and some for bad
Then she said good-bye and paid for lunch
Promised that we'd always keep in touch
Grabbed my bag and grabbed my thoughts,
walked away and that was that

And all the feelings I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

(Truth is) I never got over you
(Truth is) Wish I was standing in her shoes
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still in love with you
(Truth is) I never should have let you go
(Truth is) And it's killing me cuz now I know
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still in love with you

Now the truth is it hurts but I know that the fault is mine
'Cuz I let her go
Tried to get over it but it's messed up she's not mine (Because I know)

I just gotta be honest,
I guess.. I guess,
I'm still in love, in love, in love

Was thinking of you as I did my homework.
I didn't wanna do it in d first place.
Usual practice was to copy in school.
But I did it anyway,
cos I know you wld want me to complete all my work.
Yeah, I did it fer you.
This might sound dumb.
But -shrugs
:)))
Yer d special one.

I miss d way we embrace.
I miss d way you take my breath away.
Please tell me this ain't a game.

Even thou words are hard to say, I still love you anyway.

wear my shirt or go naked :D

I'll catch all the butterflies for you. ( thou they are disgusting )

They are all happy for me. And I swear I'm even happier. But if you ain't feeling as happy as I am, I wld rather be sad and make you the smiling one. There's no one like you, and I want to give you the best that I can offer.

Fie said that if I start doing good deeds now, I'll get good karma ( which includes getting you back ). LOL. I donated all my coins to the Tidal Waves Fund at Macs. Counted? -laughs

The Pre-U 1 orientation tdy was quite alright. Saw a few counterparts but only one passed. Laughs. And Tresa's a glutton. ewwwweers. =x

OH, and i had two papers on the FIRST DAY of school. Gosh, just wtf is that? ))): I wasn't prepared at all. Oh hell, since when i was? -grins

Oh yeah, I miss you fcukloads (((:
Double wheeee !

Won't you answer that prayer?

sharing is a virtue. but girl, I ain't sharing you.

((((: Just came back from the new year's celeb at Costa Sands. I wanna thank every single soul that came and made this event special. The first day was horrid. Had to prepare the food and the beds. Had to see to every single detail. It tires me out bad.

But, she came. (((: Thankfully, she came. What shld I say? I'm more than elated. I swore I cld have died of happiness. The feeling was just, RIGHT. Heh!
And to you, thanks for turning up and making new year's eve so very special for me. Thanks for starting my new year in sucha unbelievable way. It was way outta my expectations. And only you girl, only you can make me feel this way. (((:

Ahhh, the second day was better thou. Had a few drops and got myself a lil tipsy. We were outrageous with the games. CUPS! Wheeeeee! :D

Shall look forward to the next gathering. It will be better and fun-nier and fantas-tier :D

Ohh dang, I haven't completed my project yet. I haven't even STARTED. ))): I hate SRP. I don't wanna write essays. I shall go school early tmr and chop a nice seat beside the power socket :P

Ha, laters. ((((:

because, you are you.