No matter what I do, all I think about is you.
Even when I'm with my boo, you know I'm crazy over you.

I love you.

this is like a dreadful routine. every weekend i'm subjected to your crazy accusations and maddening screams. i fucking hate you okay mom, fucking hate you. why must the whole family's mood be based on yours? when you are happy, then you very nice. when you not happy, then scold everybody. yes lar, you do all the housework for us, you are very wonderful lar. you keep complaining bout your work, did father and i complain his work and my homework? you want me to help out in housework isit? fine, then you do my homework for me lar. you think now i very shiok and free isit, can shake leg ah? when i strived in school, you can see or not? when im stressed out with school work, can you see or not? and the only, ONLY entertainment i have is the computer. so must you keep nagging when the first thing i do when i wake up is to on the computer? mind you, i dont get to do this during weekdays. my days are all piled up with work, so must you deprive me of my only joy? all you gotta do is just do the housechores, they are work that dont require any brain-work. if only you get to be in my shoes, i'll see how you crack your brains for those dumb and stupid PIs. or how you rush to hand in those assignments and tutorials. hiyah, whatever it is, i hope you will just shutup and go wash your clothes lar huh.

i'm nuts (:

They were getting all excited as the box opened to reveal a nicely baked cake. Everyone started working with amazing unity as some of them lifted the cake, some removed the box and some playfully planted the candles far apart. 18 of them, not 1 less, and not 1 extra. I sat a distance away, silently observing them carefully setting up everything, taking even the slightest detail into consideration. I swore I was feeling nervous and quite out of place, this scenario isn't quite familiar afterall, and that pampered feeling is overwhelming. Everyone adores you, puts you at the center of attraction. You are the decision-maker of the day. Everything is brought forward to you on a silver platter.

A nudge broke my train of thoughts, shoving me over to the cake, candle-flames flickering in the wind. "Quick quick! Make a wish and blow out the candles!" one of them hurried me. Then my mind went blank, but I had to make a wish right there and then. then you came into my mind. Yes, you. So I shut my eyes and whispered under my breath, "I wish that she will come back... No no, I wish that she will be happy." Afterwhich, I smiled contently to myself, then went ahead to put out the candles with one breath.


No matter what happens, I will always put your happiness and welfare ahead of mine.
Cos that's what love is all about.
It's all about you (:

Just wanna say a huge thank-you to those who made my day an amazing one (:


And those honeykins are...


korkor, shihui, tanhuiwen, loraine, tanhuiwen's gf, esther, eesa, yiling, michelle, jasmine, weiming, wenjie, shawn, jianxing, haowen, revathi, priya, latha, fariz, shahid, bastid, hazwan, devana, ibra, ganesh, gabriel, yaaseen, shuya, Dr Chia, ariana, fenns, tzl, stacey, guitar, sham, janice, agnes, ai ling, laura, valentina, pearleen and my beloved siblings and my folks (:

amplified misery.

no doubt, you are the ultimate cause.

but i see no reason why should i fall to your feet.

you are nothing, NOTHING.

Things have been rather messy lately, but as usual, I'm simply too lazy to type it down. I wonder if every situation needs a complete explanation, one that makes sense, one that is believable, even thou it is not true. It gets rather tricky, especially when the truth is abit out of the norm, and people would look at it as an excuse rather then an explanation. Humans, how awfully complex, somehow just chose to believe only things they wanna, only accept things that are within their range of acceptance. Any other that falls out of this category, simply gets thrown under the "excuse" section. I wonder if it is my frivolous attitude that puts whatever that I say under that particular section. I wonder if anyone truly tries to comprehend what I speak of, or are they just letting em brush across ears.


You weren't always there when I needed you. In fact, I've never poured any of my sorrows to you until it is really making me explode from the inside. I've never wanted to load you with any of my problems, probably because I know they are always trivial and minor. Or isit because I know my problems weren't any of your concern. Nevertheless, I tried to be there. And I've always been here. I don't know if you see me, but the fact is that I've never left. I don't know how to read you from your sentences, I don't know if you are really okay when you said "nothing, I'm okay", I don't know what is expected of me.


Seems that "I don't know" has somehow became the best getaway line. How simply they are phrased, but they always manage to get you out of even the suckiest situation without fail. It should be crowned the "most used phrase of the century", and that would definitely be an understatement.


Am I digressing? I think I definitely am.
Forget it, I'm just typing whatever that comes to my mind.


4 more days to my big day.
But to me, it's just another day without you.

I'm sinking deeper and deeper.
Your every move is tripping me, making me fall crazily for you.
I'm swept away.


New found love ; you ((:

MY TOOTH/GUM HURTS.

FREAKING HURRRRTTS

)))):

She was just eighteen, blooming with the perfection of a flower that had been cultivated for a flower show, her eyes brimming with calm self-confidence, as she waited for the beginning of what was certain to be a triumphant debutante year. I could still remember how entrancing she had been in her mesmeric thou simple attire; so enticingly graceful in a slender, reined-in, precise way; her shining dark brown hair falling in absolute disciplined waves to her shoulders, her smiling lips a perfect shade of pink that made all the other girls look overly made-up. Yes, she had knocked the daylights out of me with her sophistication, a unique brand of polished poise, an unmistakable stamp of class, for want of a better word, than I had even seen in any of the girls I have ever dated.


Dazzle.

I'm really puzzled by your texts last night. And after you stopped replying, I simply couldn't go back to sleep anymore. I woke up every 2hrs just to realize that the sky is still of that dark grey shade and I've hours more before the Sun comes up. I tossed and turned until my whole bedsheet came off half way. I almost fell off bed cos I was tangled in my blanket when I woke up and tried to get off bed. I need some answers, not you "encouraging" me to call her up and talk to her. I don't know if my intuition is right, but I've known you for so long, if there isn't a reason behind all these, you wouldn't be reacting this way. I can see it girl, so don't bother hiding those feelings and come clean to me please.

I guess I almost gave mom a shock when I told her that I've been feeling itchy all over my body since last night. I've totally no idea what I ate that caused those rashes on my arms and back, but I swear it's irritating the hell out of me and I can't stop scratching. My veins are made swollen from those aggressive scratches and I even accidentally scratched my needle wound which caused it to bleed a lil. Muahahas. Ooh yeah, I love prickly-heat.