I went to my beloved tan huiwen's blog and I got the shock of my life. Please lar, my wound is already at it's biggest. -sobs


Ayes, change blog tell me lar. Wah lao eh ):


I guess it's okay to be casual once in awhile and go like wah lao, wah kao, ta ma de, CB LAR!.
But that's what i always do in game anyway :D


Yes yes, i know i'm ALWAYS busy in msn. Well, find me a gf and i won't keep playing games. HURS, mf's so gonna murder me :D


Oh i swear i can keep replaying Kelly's behind these hazel eyes. It makes me think of nuts :D


tralalalaa, TV time (:

Because words are no longer enough.

Okay, before I start my entry, let me first reply a few messages (:


Kura,
No, I'm not some snacks that you have for lunch when you can't find time for a proper meal.


Huiwen,
Yes woman, you die go where har? We seriously need some quality catching-up sessions. erm about her, I guess all I can do is reminisce? I don't know, I'll hope that heaven does something for me too (:
And yes, update me bout your dessert (:


TZL,
Downwards. And yer linked darling (:


Sha,
Yes, I'm fine. Thanks for yer concern.


NANA POK,
Nthg against Elvis but you shld at least say I rock too? haha, yeah I THINK she's doing fine. Haven't really got time to update myself about her. -grins



So, after spending 4 days in the hospital, I'm back home without a swell but with a gaping wound. Interestingly the brilliant doctors have decided to leave the wound open since they labeled it as a dirty wound. Okay, so they cheated my feelings by telling me that it would be a small surgery and that I can go home after that ONE surgery. I went for a second one when they decided that my wound is not clean enough and more tissues should be removed. So I starved for another 16 hours which is considered good enough because for the first surgery I starved for 22 hours. Cool, a nice way to lose weight. Basically, the nurses are nice, the food was OKAY and the bed stinks. hurs.


By the way, just wanna thank those souls who worried for me and who cared for me during my stay in the hospital. Ahh, that was really sweet of you guys (:


cos you made it all worthwhile.

you shall be the last woman in my heart.


She was a goddess in my eyes, someone whose beauty no one can be comparable to. Her simplicity was something no one can capture, making others seeming rather redundant in this world of mine. She had long, silky hair, falling into disciplined waves over her shoulders. Her smile was overwhelming, and the sense of satisfaction it brought to me was beyond description. Yes, I was head over heels for her. I went goo goo, I went gaa gaa, I went nuts. It was almost like a fairy tale when she agreed to be mine, it was something so impossible and yet it felt so real. I had to admit that there were times when I didn't cherish every single minute we spent together, and there were times her interest was outweighed by my ego. Nevertheless, I still love her like how I did when I first set eyes on her. She was just a simple lady, not loud, not impressive. But you know there's someone in this globe who loves her more than life itself, and that person is me. If you were ask if I would forgo 10years of life for 10 minutes of her company, then I would say yes. In fact, even if it's 20years, it would be worthwhile in my eyes. I couldn't help but miss her a lot, I couldn't help but sometimes wish that she will come back to me. But I know, and I comprehend that I'm no longer an option. I just want her to know, that even though I might not be able to be there everytime when she needed someone, no matter where I go or what I do, my heart will always be with her..

you're still the only thing that matter.


Months and months of persistence have only gotten you so far. Tried as hard as you could, yet you're still this distant from her. Moments of dilemma, instances of the heart tearing itself apart... Is this all worthwhile for a lady like her? Loved hard, tried hard, cried hard and now you're crashing hard. Are words able to represent the emotional torment that one has went through? It's silly to think that whatever has been sacrificed is going to be appreciated, or whatever that has been given to her is going to return in other forms of affection. You twisted to fit her mould, but you ended up losing yourself within her. She couldn't see you, you couldn't find yourself, you're non-existent. When she packs and leaves, your whole globe came crashing down. You knew she was important, but you didn't expect her to be the pillar of your life. Then you regretted the times you lost control, the times you did something dumb to spite her and the times your ego outweighed her importance. You became autistic, you locked yourself up because wherever you go you could see her shadow. Images of the wonderful times you both had once spent at memorable places clicked the repeat-button and had itself replayed over and over again in your head. You thought you saw you and her, sitting at the playground near her place, having heart-to-heart talks, holding each other's hands, and her head lying on your chest. You breathed in hard, hoping that she would hear the heart that was beating for her. But when you leaned forth to look at her face, she has already fallen asleep, rising and falling with every breath that you are taking. Then you blinked once, blinked twice, and she disappeared. You sat there alone, wondering if you're on her mind too, like how she's in yours all the time. Then you stood up, turned and walked away with a smile, because you know she's in good hands, at least, one that's better than yours.


I'll be patient, I'll wait till the day our paths cross once again. Then again, I hope that instead of being perpendicular, our paths will be side by side, parallel with each other. I love you (:

For some unknown reason, I've been looking forward to chinese lessons. Not that it is the only subject i can ace in (sad huh?), but rather, it feels good to be around her -grins. And yes, promos! I'm not going to study for my promos. Urgh ):


And euphe, I DON'T HAVE GAY HANDS LAR ! ):


someday you'll know.

Heaven knows I've been waiting for you.

To put things in less complicated terms,
my life sucks and I don't know what the fuck and I doing to it.



save me from this place baby.