Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I wish not guilt be the reason that tears us apart.
If you ever leave me, let the reason be that your heart no longer has room for me,
that I no longer bring a smile to your face,
that I no longer make your soul feel glad,
that I no longer give you the strength to stand,
that love is no longer what you have for me.

Even till then,
I know I will still love you unconditionally,
and I will still brave all odds for you.
You make it easier to suffer,
and your love is the only thing that makes me feel alive.

I will wait patiently for your return,
till the moment I breathe my last breath.
I don't know what I've been caught up with that made me lost track of time, lost sight of the person that I love so dearly. The growing distance is excruciating but nonetheless, I've no clues to what I should do or say to bridge the gap and feel your love once again. I've spent my hours trying to run away from the distance, hoping that it will somehow miraculously disappear. I've made myself so utterly tired that I'll fall asleep the second I climb into bed so I'll be left with no time to think of our nonchalance towards each other and be left with no time to cry or feel sorry.

I'm running low on excuses to assure myself that this is merely temporary, I've depleted the possible ones and now I'm hanging on pathetic others. I can only seek solace in late night outs and activities that will exhaust my energy. I go to bed pretending that everything's okay, I make believe that you're still around.

You no longer tell me what you love me too when I tell you I do. Replies are always short and bitter, I can never understand how they manage to hurt me so bad. You said that my love gives you too much pressure, and so I'm attempting to not love you so deep. But I fear that letting go of my grip might just cause me to lose you yet again. I'm at my wits end but I still carry the hope that things will become fine again.

Maybe love's not enough, but I'm already giving my all and best that I can offer. I still play your favorite song, and I still love you the same way I did, if not more.

I'm waiting for your call, I am.